If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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