Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize