I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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