Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
