Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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