you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize