is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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