She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
