I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
