what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
