In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize