He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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