god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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