You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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