But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize