She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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