Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
