just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
