I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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