i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
