I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
