My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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