I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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