My first STD was from a foam party
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
