Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
