You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
