DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
