weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
