my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
