You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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