no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
