Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
