There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i dont even know how to be here
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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