A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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