I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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