I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
