it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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