I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
