you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
