We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
