I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
