He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
