if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
