Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
