she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize