There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So squirting runs in the family.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
