Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
