my vag is so smooth its legendary
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize