Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
