I hate your face
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize