I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
