Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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