Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize