As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
