My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
