If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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