he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
