Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
