You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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